The Mere Mortals
by JadziaKathryn
Summary: Q thinks about the different species he might entertain himself with.


Disclaimer: Paramount owns them all. I'm doing this because I enjoy it.  
  
1 THE MERE MORTALS  
  
Q needed a good species to play with. He was bored, and the best cure for boredom was always the mortals. But who to play with?  
  
The Bajorans had been great fun, especially during the Cardassian Occupation. Then they were paranoid and great for entertainment. But he had made one little mistake, once. Somehow, Q ended up being worshipped as a Prophet. (Not that this bothered him too much.) The Continuum was enraged. It took quite a bit of work to undo the whole worshipping thing, and in the end, the Continuum forbid him from ever entertaining himself with Bajorans again. If he did, they would turn him into a targ for eternity, a fate which he decidedly wanted to avoid. So the Bajorans were out.  
  
Vulcans were never any fun. No matter what you did, they tried to solve it with logic. No panic, no anger, nothing at all. He'd tried and tried, but the most reaction Q had ever gotten from a Vulcan was that he was illogical. The most excitement one could expect from a Vulcan ship was a mind-meld. Yawn.  
  
The Klingons were a different story. They always got very, very angry. Sometimes they panicked, and did stupid things like fire every torpedo they had at him as he hung in space, doing fun things to them such as resurrecting the targ they were eating. That was interesting. The problem with the Klingons was that he could never play mind games with them. They never surprised him, and they never did anything intelligent. He wasn't in a Klingon mood.  
  
Romulans were fun because of their deceitful ways. A little trick or two could result in mind games, and maybe a death. It was always entertaining to watch the little scenarios play out. The simplest things-a shadow, even- sparked some of the most complex manipulations in several galaxies. However, this could change timelines, and that tended to annoy the Continuum. He'd had two severe warnings on dealing with Romulans. The Continuum was good at putting a damper on all his fun. He had to be delicate when dealing with Romulans, and he wasn't in a delicate mood. So no game with Romulans this time.  
  
The Andorians were similar to the Klingons. They were paranoid, panicked easily, and were predictable. Once in a while, he could get an unexpected gesture from an antenna, but that was about the most that could be hoped for. Q wanted far more excitement than that, so he'd leave the Andorians alone.  
  
The Trill were, for the most part, such private people that Q found them less than ideal subjects. There was one trick he liked to pull, which was to visit the first host of a symbiont, and then appear in the life of, say, its fifth host. That was interesting, because the combinations of personalities could be interesting to watch. Once, the current host had literally allowed the old host's personality to control their body, which was said to be impossible by some. That was interesting. But lifetimes of hostility towards him could build up, and that wasn't fun.  
  
Betazoids could be entertaining, especially when he overloaded their telepathic or empathic senses. They got really mad and tried telepathic tricks that, of course, didn't work on him. Sometimes, he even could get them thinking about big questions, which (at least in Q's opinion) Betazoids buried under the details and feelings of life. However, Betazoids took a long time to work up, and getting them to a level of entertainment took more work than he was up to.  
  
Who else? The Borg were way too easy, really. After the incident where they assimilated Jean-Luc, who he secretly admired, he'd forced two cubes to implode. That was about as much revenge as the Continuum let him take. (Another example of how restrictive the Continuum was.) As far as entertainment went, the Borg provided no fun. They weren't bothered by death in the slightest bit, and they didn't care at all what happened to them or any of their fellow drones. Even Vulcans were better than that.  
  
The Kazon had been involved in a couple of his entertainment schemes, but the balance of power with all those sects was kind of like what happened with the Romulans. Too many games, and he'd change the timelines too much, and then the Continuum would warn him again, and he didn't feel like dealing with that right now.  
  
He didn't like the Dominion. Or, depending on what time period he was in, what was left of it. The Founders were no fun, because they shape-shifted their way out of everything. He ended up frustrated, not entertained. The Vorta were so brainwashed into obeying the Founders that they, too, were more frustrating than entertaining. And the Jem-Hadar had a tendency to be Klingon-like, only worse. At leas the Klingons had their honor.  
  
Q didn't like Cardassians, either. They annoyed him greatly with their arrogance and cunning. (Someone had once had the nerve to say that he disliked them because it was like looking in a mirror.) They weren't fun, they were annoying. If there was ever a race Q wouldn't even think about letting experience omnipotence, it was the Cardassians.  
  
Ferengi were so wrapped up in their business, the only way to get their attention was to interrupt business. That could produce entertaining results, but it was hard to play mind games with the Ferengi. Whenever he looked at them, he wanted to laugh.  
  
That left him where he usually ended up, with his favorite species. They were reliable but surprising, in control but on the verge of losing it, sure of themselves but aware of their weaknesses.  
  
The humans. 


End file.
